As I have mentioned in previous posts, I consider myself part of the BTS ARMY these days. I’ve been a fan of their work before but I never really paid attention to them as much as I have been doing so this year. While I did listen to their songs and watched their performances since 2018, I never really took the time to check out their discography or watch their other media content until recently.
One of the songs that stood out to me the first time I heard it was the song First Love. It is a solo song from Suga from the Wings album, and was written and produced by him as well (along with a certain Miss Kay).
As someone who does not speak the Korean language, the first time I heard it I relied on the music and Suga’s performance to appreciate the song and the story it told. Based on the title and the fact that he kept mentioning the word piano, I more or less understood that it was about his love for the piano (and most likely, about music in general). Sure enough, when I read the translation of the lyrics, that was exactly what the song was about. That, and from what I can gather, his love for music as well.
I was moved listening to the music and the way that the song was performed, there was so much emotion in it. The song felt like there was a lot of nostalgia and love but a lot of pain too. I fell in love with the song without understanding the lyrics. It’s a song that just pull you in with how he begins his story until he reaches the end. I loved it even more after I read the English translation of it.
The corner of my memory
A brown piano settled on one side
In the corner of my childhood house
A brown piano settled on one side
That first part of the song reminded me so much of my own childhood and of the brown piano at my paternal grandmother’s house. I have had photos sitting in front of it and attempting to play as a toddler. It was what sparked my interest in music at a young age, to the point where I started taking lessons back in elementary school.
I neglected you when I once yearned for you so…
Your image that has been neglected
Even then I didn't know
Your significance…
But I didn't know that would be the last
You say don't leave like this
Those lines reminded me of my grandmother’s piano again. When I was in high school, I had stopped learning to play. I had stopped playing completely. Those lines reminded me of that love for the piano that I had left behind. When my grandmother died at around the same time, I was heartbroken when I found out that her house was sold, the piano along with it. The way he sounds so heartbroken in parts of the song reminded me of how it felt when I found out that the piano in my grandmother’s house, like my grandmother, was gone forever.
The last verse where Suga talks about how music has stayed a part of his life through the good and the bad and how he wanted it to stay with him the rest of his life was particularly moving, especially in the way he sang/rapped it. There was so much passion in his voice and you could feel his love for music with every line and how it was been with him every step of the way. The music in the background, with the sweeping sound of the strings, the soft piano keys gave it an even deeper meaning for me.
When I first started listening to BTS I have to be honest and say that I always considered Suga as just one of the rappers of the group. He was not my favorite during the earlier days. Having learned that he was also a songwriter/producer gave me a deeper appreciation for the guy but it was this song First Love that moved me so much that he has become my favorite in the group (or as they say in ARMY-speak, my bias…so sorry Jimin). I have been a big fan of his work since then.
I would love to have the chance to meet Suga in person and pick his brain on his creative process. I imagine tailing him while he makes music must be such an interesting thing to do. Out of everyone in BTS, he is the one I would love to meet (and learn from) the most. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of them, but I am not going to lie, meeting Suga would be more than enough.
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