Four Eyes

How many of you wear prescription glasses? I do. Well, not as often as I should be, but I do have prescription glasses.

I started wearing glasses when I was in elementary school. I was diagnosed to be nearsighted and that I had astigmatism. I loved reading even at an early age, often to the point where my grandmother would have to turn on the light for me while I was reading because I never got up to do it myself when it got dark. I refused to stop reading (nerd alert!) and insisted on reading even if it got dark. I remember my mother blaming my bad eyesight on that bad habit and my grandmother getting mad at me for straining my eyes like that. I don’t know if there is any truth to that, but I can’t blame them for saying it.

One of my earliest photos wearing glasses

Wearing glasses as a kid made me a bit self-conscious since my glasses were so thick that someone commented that they looked like the bottom of soda bottles. It got to the point that I became used to wearing them only when I absolutely needed them: when I needed to read something, for the most part. 

I've noticed that I avoided wearing them so much that I rarely have photos with them on as I got older. I tried wearing my glasses as much as I could even if I was self-conscious about how I looked wearing them. I have gotten many different frames through the years just so that I could feel comfortable wearing them. I never seemed to convince myself to wear them as much as I should though. I think I have given away so many frames through the years because of it.

Through the years, I have learned to adjust to my eyesight so that I could avoid using my glasses. I’ve learned to recognize how people walk/move so that I could recognize them from afar even if I can’t see them clearly, for one thing. Sometimes I learn to figure out how to read even if the words are blurry by recognizing the shape even if they aren’t clear to me. Recently I have had to get some reading glasses because even up close it has been getting challenging to read. Makes me wonder if my being stubborn and not wearing my glasses all the time has something to do with it. That or maybe because I have been on my phone a bit too much these days.

Usually, when I get new frames I wear my new glasses daily/regularly for a few months and end up reverting to not wearing them unless absolutely necessary. I’m just not comfortable wearing eyeglasses sometimes (OK, maybe a LOT of times). People have asked me about it and asking why I don’t just wear contacts instead. Unfortunately, my doctor told me that it is not advisable for people with astigmatism. 

A friend of mine shared how she had her eyesight fixed through Lasik surgery and it has changed her life completely. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to undergo surgery like that wide awake with someone lasering my eye…I might panic and make things worse. 

Recently I felt the need to wear my glasses again. I’ve been having a hard time with my eyesight recently. I’ve noticed myself squinting a little more often than usual to see things (or using my phone to magnify things when they are too blurry). I tried wearing the glasses I last had made but they don’t seem to fit anymore. The vision is all wrong. I’m thinking of getting new ones but I have been a bit scared about going to have my eyes checked because of the pandemic. Putting my eyes on that eyesight measuring thing that other people have used is making me nervous because of COVID. How sure am I that those things are being disinfected properly? 

Given how people have named our country as the worst place to be during this pandemic, my confidence level is not too high right now. I haven’t even gone to see my doctors for my regular checkups for my other medical conditions because of this pandemic. My thinking right now is that if I feel fine, I’d rather stay home than risk getting infected by going to the hospital. Not when cases are still high in our area.

I don’t know how much longer I can manage with my eyesight this time around, but I hope I can hold off getting a new pair until it is really safe to go out again. I know it’s probably not a good idea, but for now, that’s the plan. Hope my eyes hold on for me until it’s safe to go to the eye doctor again.